Got Pediculus humanus?

Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.

                    -Ralph Waldo Emerson 

 

    No it's not a spell from Harry Potter!
   Whether it's Gun's n Roses singing about it, a Mother praying for it, even a writer wanting to raise their fists in fury at it, patience can at times be appropriately deemed the most valuable unappreciated gift.  Unfortunately it's not on the top ten list of an individual's list of replies to the question if you could wish for anything what would you wish for?  After this week I wish I had a spare box of patience over a stack of cash but please don't misunderstand I didn't get the stack of cash either.
      We are talking a kid with lice filled week, a husband with a painful sinus infection, another kid with a skin infection that included an embarrassing trip to the pediatrician, a I'm not going to do my homework unless you dangle my electronic device over the trash can week, and of course the whip cream of it all the most stressful time of any adults life, the process of buying a house in a low supply market.  Oh, and the cherry is the never-ending rewrite that has me stuck in the first 100 pages of my book.  In the past (and this is not an attempt to brag here) I've been heralded for  the amount of patience I can stretch thin much like my Grandmother's pierogi dough under her ancient wooden rolling pin, but come on a human can only take so much before their whistle blows.
       Yes, that's pretty much what happened as I was combing my daughter's long hair with a four inch plastic fine tooth comb filled with nits (oh my God) discovering the deadline for a bid has passed without any word from our realtor while my husband declares he's done with the whole house thing passing the torch of unlikelihood over to me, a whistle blew in my head.  Not just any whistle but the kind that rivales any Looney tunes train whistle with enough steam issuing forth that indicates a possible combustion.  Well, afterwards something inside of me snapped like a glow stick and with the nit comb in mid air I was infused with the luminescence of patience.  Where did it come from?  When? Why?  How?  I can't answer that but I can speculate over years of imbibing in the most tedious of activities like waiting at a Dr.'s office and watching other people who arrived later than you called back first or asking your child to pick up their backpacks for the millionth time-then yes, I have been well trained in the art.
       Ah, if you believe I won't say it you have another thing coming because here it goes.  Yes, through the art of nit-picking I have been enlightened.  Not only to the reality that there isn't one precaution to lice nor one very effective treatment but more importantly there isn't always a way to prepare for how one will react to the misfortunes of life.  Just as those nasty insects have been around since pre-historic times so has the sometimes elusive concept of controlling our annoyances and it will continue to be a challenge.  Long live the Pediculus humanus!

Was there a time in your life you wished for more patience?
       

“Hard times build determination and inner strength. Through them we can also come to appreciate the uselessness of anger. Instead of getting angry nurture a deep caring and respect for troublemakers because by creating such trying circumstances they provide us with invaluable opportunities to practice tolerance and patience.” 
― Dalai Lama XIV

Happy (distracting) Holidays!

It was a fight-a constant struggle and the holidays won.  Even though I continue to set my alarm for 5am to work on my book(my 3rd major revision), it takes me 30-45 minutes to respond to the annoying noise.  At 6am with my cooling coffee next to me and the blinking cursor on the screen-what am I thinking?  Certainly not about my character's next words, no, but  rather did I pick up everything from the grocery store?  Or, should I pick up one more thing for so-and-so.  Don't forget to add vanilla to that-wait-the expensive vanilla not the imitation stuff...

Okay, I've lost my way and now I'm finding it very very difficult to pick up where I left off.  Wouldn't it be easier to just drop the whole thing?  I've already received a rejection to my agent query so shouldn't I quit there?  Everything inside of me screams (NO!) but I'm so tired and my family complains that I work too much.   Where can I sign up for a workshop on balancing one's life?

So calm down, I'm not quitting but instead I'm trying to take it one day at a time.  The inspirational quotes have become my bible of sorts and I try my best not to push too hard right now.  I need to ease my way back into my regimen and drink lots of vodka (just joking).

How do you cope with situations such as these?



Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony. 
Thomas Merton 

Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away.
Barbara de Angelis 

I don't think balance is something you get from someone else; it's something women have to find from within. For me, finding balance is still a work in progress.
Rachel Weisz 

 

Ode to my soul sister....

My washing machine and I are soul sisters. We both cycle, her more than I-thank goodness but we both take the soiled and spit out the orderly, again, she tips the scale with that one and well eventually, we will both burn out.  Never have I given her the respect she deserves.  Oh, great white metal box who I have taken for granted my whole life, would you partake in a martini while we spin our thoughts together?  You know what I cherish the most about you? You are always there, no matter what and I love how you don't care if I show up in pajamas at noon with you still holding wet, clean clothes that are beginning to smell musty.  You really know how to keep a secret, sister.

Whether her name is Maytag, Kenmore, Samsung, Whirlpool, I know them all.  I can safely say I have measured my life out with loads of dirty laundry.  Either whites with bleach or at other times, darks in cold water with straight detergent-your nectar of the gods you bring me back to reality.  No matter what I do with my life you will always be there to remind me I am a woman.  Thank you my dearest sister!

10 things NOT to do when writing.

Top ten list of no-no's for a writer...

We learn from our mistakes, otherwise we have suffered unnecessarily.   I tell my children every day it's okay to make mistakes-no one is perfect because to err is human and what we do next separates us as individuals.

The writing journey I've followed these past three years taught and reminded me of some no-no's as a writer and I would like to share them with you.

1.)   Don't ever write when cooking, talking on the phone, wiping your kid's butt, or eating crackers (it's impossible to get those crumbs out of the keyboard and every time you hit the spacebar hearing that crunch! you'll be reminded of your stupidity).  Focus!

2.)  You are the most important tool in your writing so just as you recharge your laptop  you must fuel your body. So when hunger causes you to stop, practice proper nutrition.  I'm not your Mom nor am I a nutritionist-you know what's best and it doesn't include potato chips and coke.  I think it's safe to include exercise here as well.  Strap on your iPod and go for a walk to enjoy nature-it will also help to clear your head and possibly generate new ideas.   Please be careful and don't reach for the 100lb dusty weights sitting in your basement.  Work up to it.

3.)   Sleep, rest, or nap whatever you can manage when you're not thinking of what your main character will say next.  You need to get those creative juices flowing and there's nothing like giving your brain some recess time.

4.)  Alcohol.  Oh boy.  Look, I'm all for a drink or two for relaxation but don't fool yourself, writing is like driving and you can't drink and drive!  So don't do it or you'll find pure dead-end crap on your screen the next day.

5.)  Drugs.  Come on, really?

6.)  Sex.  Do you recall the Seinfeld episode when the group abstains from sex?  George becomes a scholar and Elaine turns into an airhead.  There's nothing like a good mind-blowing 'O', but be careful, too much will begin to creep into your novel....look at E.L. James-she claims to have gone through a mid-life crisis while writing the fifty shades series!

7.) Music.  Knock yourself out-whatever it takes.  A Baptist choir to death metal-again, whatever it takes.  Just to warn you though, YOUR MUSIC WILL INFLUENCE WHAT YOU WRITE, so be cautious.  Especially when writing children's literature you might not want to listen to Megadeath.

8.)  If you have children, please don't forget them.  They need you more than you need to steal a few moments on your laptop.  Set aside time first thing in the morning or at night to write.

9.)  Caffeine.  Yes!  It's like a defibrillator to the right side of your brain.  Try to limit the quantity, of course, or it will have adverse effects or even stop your heart.  Oh! And try not to add too much sugar or you'll end up a diabetic.

10.)  Your significant other.  Well, they are adults and can take care of themselves but try your best to spend some time with them instead of wondering how you're revising those first three chapters of crap your built your book upon.

Have I forgotten anything?  Please add in the comment section.

Hunter S. Thompson revisited.....

Just wanted to share an eclectic icon who wasn't recognized enough-although I suspect he preferred it that way.  If you've never heard of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas or Rum Diaries you know a little about the man.  But have you heard the term, Gonzo Journalism?  His name is synonymous with the term because he told the truth when he wrote through humor and sarcasm.

I've included a link to a video of Thompson's ashes shooting out of a canon which is the way he wanted to go.  So much for 'not with a bang but a whimper', huh?

I encourage you to look up some google images of him as well.  Meanwhile, here are some quotes:

“Music has always been a matter of Energy to me, a question of Fuel. Sentimental people call it Inspiration, but what they really mean is Fuel. I have always needed Fuel. I am a serious consumer. On some nights I still believe that a car with the gas needle on empty can run about fifty more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio.”

― Hunter S. Thompson

 "If you're going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you're going to be locked up.”

― Hunter S. Thompson

“Yesterday's weirdness is tomorrow's reason why.”

― Hunter S. Thompson, The Curse of Lono

“As things stand now, I am going to be a writer. I'm not sure that I'm going to be a good one or even a self-supporting one, but until the dark thumb of fate presses me to the dust and says 'you are nothing', I will be a writer.”

― Hunter S. Thompson, Gonzo

“Buy the ticket, take the ride.”

― Hunter S. Thompson

Hunter Stockton Thompson (July 18, 1937-February 20, 2005)

Hunter Thompson's Bio. click here